Crohn’s Warrior

Sometimes it’s impossible to clear my mind and stifle my worries. I am the type of person who needs to express myself verbally. I realize that not everyone is like that, but everyone has the capability to listen and provide insight. Christopher and I used to talk all the time. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s stories, thoughts and views on the world. Conversing with a like minded, intelligent person can be invigorating. The sexual tension between Chris and myself was insane. Talking to Chris was like foreplay.

Fast forward 8 years and I still love him more than ever but we rarely get to have our epic, long talks.  Chris works a lot and because I am useless, he also takes on a lot of the household responsibilities.  When he comes home from work he barely acknowledges me and he is always on his phone playing his Marvel game.  Not an hour goes by that he is not holding his phone, intently playing his game.  When I try to cuddle with him because I’m craving human affection, he yells at me for messing his fights up in his game.  I lay in bed wondering to myself, is this really what we’ve become?

I’ve decided to just go with the flow. I know that when I truly need him, he’s always there for me. I think I’ll just continue to express my feelings through writing and when the time comes, I will make sure he knows that we are in need of some more one on one time.